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Traffic Cones
! we had Traffic cones, two traffic cones, and we had to share them with the whole platoon!]] The Traffic cones are the most overpowered weapons in the galaxy, they have caused many cases of Galactic conspiracy, if you are fighting someone and they have a Traffic cone, just kill yourself before they kill you, killing yourself will be less painful. They are aproximatley 37.8 times more powerful than an atmoic bomb at high speed, as proved in 2552 when the covenant dropped them to glass Reach. Origins They were invented by ancient, ANCIENT, ANCIENT, pre-Jurassic ANCIENT, HISTORIC Grunts as some sort of tools, this tool had many uses, but then, one Grunt was playing Hunting rock, and he used a Traffic cone instead of a rock, he used enough timing, momentum, and force, and shit the Srub Grub, it was killed, chopped into pieces 5000 times and burnt with one hit from the cone, then a kill ball emerged, it rose into the air, and kept on rising, as it rose, it sucked all the Gruntiness out of the air, making it bigger, then, it contained too much Gruntiness so it exploded. This explosion was so huge, it wiped out all life in the universe (except Grunts), this explosion also resulted The Big Bang '' Theory''. All the modern day life, planets and shit was created, the Grunts then banished the Traffic cone by locking it in a death trap that was also locked in a death trap, that was locked inside a heavy, steel boulder. It was a sign of evil, it was a sign of Hunterishness.... The return of the Traffic cone Sixty million, five thousand, three hundred, ninety one point twelve milleniums later, Thee Pi Lourrd attacked the Grunt's homeworld, Balaho, rushing into the deepest, most dangerous places of Balaho. He eventually found the Sacred Prison, where the Traffic cone was kept, he just blasted away the boulder sand all the death traps with his Assault Cannon, then he went in to claim the Traffic Cone, however, after so many years, the Traffic Cone has been HEAVILY weakened 1337 times, so it's strength was decreased to the power of Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick, Pie Lord escaped Balaho, but had to fight through Kwarsh, they had an epic DBZ style space battle *insert heavy metal music*, but Pie Lord lost interest in the Cone so he blasted it away with his Assault Cannon. The second return of the Cone Years later, the Cone was found by a legend called DigitalPh33r, he was playing Halo 3, he used it to win the match with over 300 kills. So humans have found it, oh god. Everyone was battling each other for the Cone, enemy against enemy, friend against friend, the problem was solved when Bungie added the Cone in Forge, so people could make millions, but people did not realize that they had to be a master of brain to use it, if you weren't it would have no effect, the brain also had to be used in conjunction with Gruntiness, so not much people could score with the Cone, only epic people. N00bs are practising right now to use this weapon, but by the time they attain the correct brain power they will die of being an 80 year old virgin. Many uses It is not only a weapon, but a tool, it can do many things, but we can only list these: *Dildoes *Gruntiness Experiments *Eating *Street Racing advantage *Sex *Construction *Singing *Being a pretty cool guy *Playing sports *Being a weapon of mass N00bpwning. *Telling cars to fuck off. *To be fired out of artillery to shoot at shopping carts. *Winning a Mario Kart game. *A sign of respect hat. *Protection (but not if you're an orange asshole) *destrying noobs. *hiding behind. Trivia *The traffic cones are so powerful, Oskarmandude's computer crashed [[List of "Three" References in Halo|'3']] times editing this article, HOLY SHIT. *They are ancestors of robots who are named after them *They cause CHAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSS *There are 7 specail traffic cones that are always turned upside down, crystal-liek, and come in random culurz. They are controled by the universeal traffic cone, whitch has unlimited gruntiness. Category:Weapons Category:Shit people complain about Category:Unusable Equipment Category:Things that kick ass Category:Unseen Objects